3 Questions to Ask After Watching

Watch Anything, Anywhere

Any documentary with all four checks will do (the four checks are on the At Home page). Find it wherever you like. Animals, people at work, science, how things are built: all fine. If the child is young, skim it first for a minute or two. You can pick a gentle one, and you'll know when to give the child a heads-up.

How much can a child watch alone? Under 6: someone sits with them. Ages 6 to 8: fine if someone is in the house and can come the moment they're called. Age 9 and up: on their own.

The Three Questions

Question 1. What surprised you most today?

Question 2. If you were there, how would you feel, or what would you do?

Question 3. Is anything in it like our home, or different from it? Or like when your parents or grandparents were young?

Ask at the dinner table or anywhere else. Ask any one of them, in any order. If today is short on time, ask just one. If there is time, ask all three. Use whatever language your home uses, whether that's a local dialect or your mother tongue.

Four Ways to Listen

1. Let the child answer first. Whoever is at home answers afterward, if they want to. Your answer is one more way of seeing it, not the correct answer.
2. Listen to the end, then ask one more thing. Pick from "And then what happened?", "What did you see that made you think so?", or "I wonder if anyone would see it differently?"
3. Don't say whether it's right or wrong. Don't sum up the lesson. Don't keep teaching. Listening on its own does the job.
4. If the child doesn't answer, that's fine. Say "Let's try again tomorrow" and stop there.

If what the child says doesn't match what was in the film, don't rush to correct it. Ask "Want to watch that part again?" or "What did you see?" and let the child check it against what they saw themselves.

If you want the child to keep talking, say "Thank you for telling me," and praise something they did, like "I liked that you noticed that." Children who hear this kind of praise tend to share more.

Adjusting for Age

• Ages 3 to 5: Ask one question. The child can point or draw. For example, "Which one was your favorite?" Then connect it to real life: "Is it like our cat at home?" It is best if someone sits and watches with them.
• Ages 6 to 11: Ask any one of the three, or all three.
• Ages 12 to 14: Take turns asking. The child can ask you back, such as "Would you have chosen the same?" Answer honestly. You don't need to sound impressive.
• Ages 15 to 17: At this age they like to start the conversation themselves. Say it once: "If there's anything you want to tell me about, I'd be glad to listen." Then wait for them to come to you.

For Parents Short on Time, Use Three Minutes

If you get home late and you're worn out, use these three minutes. It is an option for short days. On ordinary days, ask the three questions above as usual. These three minutes count from the moment the child tells you what they watched. That is different from the daily question on the At Home page, which counts only the asking, two minutes at most.

1. One minute: the child tells you what they watched today. You don't have to have watched it too.
2. One minute: ask one question, such as "What surprised you most?"
3. One minute: listen without judging. Don't sum it up for them.

If you're too tired to do even this, skip it. No need to feel guilty. Try again tomorrow.

For Grandparents

Question 3 is worth a great deal coming from you. Stories of when you were young give a child another life to look at, one they can't get from a screen. They don't need to be accurate or complete. Tell what you remember. If reading is hard for you, you don't need to read anything. Remember the three questions above and ask the child directly.

If you don't know what the child watched, you can say, "I don't know about that either. Tell me." It is the best thing you can say. The child gets to be the one who knows.

If Someone Works Far from Home, Use a Video Call or a Voice Message

1. The child tells one thing they saw today.
2. Whoever is at home asks one question.
3. Whoever is at home says briefly what they saw or did today.

Keep it to 5 minutes a call at most. It is an option for days when time is short. You don't need to watch the same film as the child. If your call times don't line up, the child can leave a voice message in a chat app, then listen to your voice reply. If the signal is weak or data is expensive, use voice messages or a voice call instead of video.

A short call like this brings people close. The child gets to tell someone they miss, and hears how that person's days are going far from home. The three questions above are enough.

If No One Is Home

The child can tell anyone: a brother or sister, a friend, a relative who calls. Or draw it, or write it in their own notebook.