Understanding Your Child at Each Age

Children can learn at any age

Three-year-olds, ten-year-olds and seventeen-year-olds all learn. What changes is what comes easily.

This page helps you follow where your child is now.

Learning keeps going

• The early years matter a great deal, but children keep learning throughout childhood. Starting later may take more time, and children can keep learning.
• Most children learn in several ways, so there is no need to work out which kind your child is.

Ages 3 to 5: language, bonding, play

Children who have back-and-forth conversations with adults tend to have stronger language skills. Talking together helps more than listening alone. Children also tend to try new things when a trusted adult is close by.

Have someone sit and watch alongside them, then ask, "Which one was your favourite?" An answer in words or acted out is fine.

Ages 6 to 8: asking why, rules

Children often tell what they saw as a story, in more and more detail.

If your child keeps asking why, that is a good thing. Try setting the watching rules together, such as one documentary a day. Every answer is fine.

Ages 9 to 11: interests, persistence

Many children can stay with one thing for longer. A film your child asks to see again says a lot about what they like.

Let them pick what comes next. Watching it twice is fine.

Ages 12 to 14: identity, friends

At this age, many love being asked what they think, and talk most easily when it feels like a trade of views.

Stories about friends and about being yourself are a natural way in. Ask a question that asks for a view, such as "Would you have made the same choice?" If they see it differently, just listen.

Ages 15 to 17: own choices, sleep

In the teen years the body clock shifts later, so many young people fall asleep and wake later.

Let them choose the film and the time. Skip the question, and say once, "Tell me anything, whenever you like."

Every child is different

The ages on this page describe tendencies, not a timetable to keep up with.

Your child may read early or late, or be drawn to things that belong to another age. Most of this sits within the usual range.

Compare your child only with themselves a month ago. If you are unsure about their development, talk to a doctor or a teacher.

What an adult can do

Watch one documentary a day, ask one question (two minutes at most), and listen to the whole answer. If you don't know the answer, say "Shall we find out together?" Under 6, someone sits and watches alongside. Sample questions are in the 14-Day Starter Guide.

If a grandparent or relative helps look after your child, or a parent is away, invite them to ask "What was your favourite part?" or "What did you watch today?" and then listen. They need to know nothing about documentaries.

Ready to try? See the 14-Day Starter Guide